


The Flames Of My Heart

by Flamefriends, FuriousRoman



Series: Unpaid Tab [3]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Backstory, Happens after chapter 57 in Singing the Blues, M/M, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, rape mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2016-12-22
Packaged: 2018-09-10 20:39:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8938282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flamefriends/pseuds/Flamefriends, https://archiveofourown.org/users/FuriousRoman/pseuds/FuriousRoman
Summary: The continuation of Unpaid Tab, Gaster talks to Underfell Grillby and asks some questions.Alternate summary:The good Doctor Gaster has some questions for his new summon, and this purple flame is willing to share, because that's what summons do, right?





	1. Being Summoned For A Purpose

**UF!Grillby:** The dreamscape surrounded them, Purple Grillby sitting on his knees in front of Gaster, "So….What do you want to know first, Doctor?“

 **Gaster:** Gaster, also sitting, though with his legs crossed, hummed in thought for a moment. "Your Summoner Before Me. I Know You Two Were Quite Intimate, However, I Still Do Not Fully Understand The Purpose Behind Him Summoning You.”

 **UF!Grillby:** “I was summoned for war, Doctor, I had assumed you already knew this?” Purples voice was slightly confused. Was his counterpart not for war?

 **Gaster:** “You Told Me You Were Summoned To Be Used. Though, I Suppose A Weapon Can Be Used As Well…” He tilted his head to the side slightly. “How About You Just Tell Me About Him, And I’ll Ask For Specific Details Afterwards.”

 **UF!Grillby:** Grillby summoned a cigar and lit it, chuckling lightly, “You meant the sex. Yes, that was my secondary use. After the war was over, I was used by Doctor W.D. Gaster for sex, but sadly, I fell for my own summoner and he cast me aside and would only use me if there was no one else.” He took a large breath and smoked the cigar, looking at the ground before him.

 **Gaster:** “So You Made A Home In Snowdin, Since Your Love Was Unrequited? Or Did He Force You There?”

 **UF!Grillby:** “….” Grillby was silent for a moment, thinking back to years long past, “…He told me not to return unless I had something for him. So I began collecting G, experiments, and anything else that might have interested him….I even looted the Library when I NEEDED to see him….”

 **Gaster:** “But It Wasn’t Enough For Him, Was It?” Gaster hated that his counterpart had been so cruel to such a beautiful fire elemental.

 **UF!Grillby:** He shook his head softly, “It never was, he was always too busy and our time together was short and so few it left me craving more and more and more.” Grillby looked away, “I guess I was just too needy huh?”

 **Gaster:** “Through No Fault Of Your Own.” Gaster reached over to touch Grillby’s face and try to guide the other to look at him. “He Starved You Of The Affection You Craved, And It Impacted Your Behaviors And Everyone Around You.”

 **UF!Grillby:** Grillby leaned into the touch and sighed, “I…..I still miss him….”

 **Gaster:** “I Would Be Concerned If You Didn’t. He Was Your Summoner. You Have Every Right To Grieve That Loss.”

 **UF!Grillby:** “Why do I feel like I…. love him still?”, He flinched as he spoke.

 **Gaster:** “I Wouldn’t Know. Only You Can Answer That.” He gave a soft, reassuring smile. “Why Do You Love Him?”

 **UF!Grillby:** “I don’t know…I just said this….” Grillby felt frustration inside of his core build.

 **Gaster:** “Do You Know What Made You Fall For Him In The First Place Then?” He wanted to help his summon figure it out.

 **UF!Grillby:** “….He gave me life…He gave me a place to stay and kept me fed and kept the king from destroying my core while he was on a rage.”

 **Gaster:** “He Took Care Of You, And You Wanted To Prove Your Gratitude And Loyalty. But… Was There A Particular Moment You Knew Your Feelings Weren’t Simply Out Of Obligation?”

 **UF!Grillby:** “….” Grillby finished his cigar, “I realized after he threw me out that I loved him. I missed the times he’d hold me, I missed him even just yelling at me. He had told me if I was going to be useless anyway that I should be useless elsewhere so as not to disturb his experiments.” The memory played out in the background, Grillby’s flames flickered around when he looked up at the Gaster he had loved all that time ago.

 **Gaster:** Meanwhile, this Gaster watched the memory with a frown. The way his counterpart was so cold towards Grillby irked him terribly. Oh, how he’d love to give this other Gaster a piece of his mind. He looked back at Grillby, his expression softer. “Would You Like It If I Held You For Now? Would It Make Things Easier?”

 **UF!Grillby:** Grillby shook his head, “I don’t see how that would make it any easier as you look almost just like him…” Grillby looked away from Gaster.

 **Gaster:** “I Am Simply Offering Support.” Gaster reached for Grillby’s hand this time. “Do You Wish To Stop Talking About It? We Can Revisit This Topic Later If You Need A Break.”

 **UF!Grillby:** “Which would you rather do, sir?” Grillby asked in a hushed voice, his mind wandering.

 **Gaster:** “There Is One More Thing I Would Like To Ask About, Though I Can Wait If You Do Not Wish To Talk About This Anymore.”

 **UF!Grillby:** “You may ask, Doctor.”

 **Gaster:** “The Sans From Your Universe; What Events Lead To Your Relationship With Him And My Counterpart?”

 **UF!Grillby:** Grillby’s voice started to quiver slightly. “I was jealous. Doctor Gaster wished to use Sans for everything. He was more stable, powerful, and intelligent. He held the doctors favor, something I had sought after for years, and it was just given to him….In all Technicality I am his father as well… I just wish that Gaster hadn’t thrown them to me when he wanted to test out what they were like around other monsters…” He sighed, “So I built Sans a debt. One that couldn’t really be paid off. Doctor Gaster was still taking notes of course, of what I couldn’t tell you.”

 **Gaster:** Gaster have a quizzical look. “I Would Have Considered You An Older Brother, If Your Doctor Was Their Father And Your Summoner. What Makes You Their Father?”

 **UF!Grillby:** “…When they were only souls, I got a call from Doctor Gaster…”

A memory shimmered and a past conversation began to play, “M-Master! You called! I mean, what do you need, sir?”  
“…”  
“I’ll be over there as soon as possible, sir.”

 **UF!Grillby:** “He called me into the lab, and I went, following him blindly down to the experiment rooms. There were two tanks on the table and small bones shaped into souls.” The scene showed Doctor Gaster motioning to the core in Grillby’s chest.

 **UF!Grillby:** “He wanted to see if my core could spark life into his creations as he didn’t want to use the energy from The Core of the Underground.” The younger Grillby nodded, their purple flames slightly flickering as they opened their core for Doctor Gaster. Light flickered and a silent scream came from Grillby as the life-force from his core moved to the small soul shaped bones. Light flickered into the bones and soon the machine they were in took readings of life from them. With a wave of Doctor Gasters hand the core closed and Grillby fell to the floor, unconscious.

 **Gaster:** Gaster watched the scene intently. This was quite the experiment, and if the Doctor had been more humane, he might have found the experiment fascinating.

 **UF!Grillby:** “My core gave them life, and afterwards he dismissed me.”

 **Gaster:** “Without Even A Thank You.” His frown returned for a moment. “Did They Know You Were His Summon?”

 **UF!Grillby:** “You mean Papyrus and Sans? No. Our relationship was pretty much hidden, only King Asgore and Queen Toriel knew that I was his summon.”

 **Gaster:** “And I Assume They Didn’t Know Your Magic Gave Them Life, Either?”

 **UF!Grillby:** “Of course not.” Grillby laughed, “Why would they know? I never told them, and Doctor Gaster didn’t either.”

 **Gaster:** “Fair Enough. I Don’t Suppose That Would Have Made Things Any Better For Anyone…” Gaster sighed, letting his mind wander. Soon, though, a thought crept up on him. “You Mentioned He Made You Promise Something. You Were To Protect Him, Yes?”

 **UF!Grillby:** “Yes, when he summoned me my primary mission was to protect and serve him. He was vital to the war on humans.” Grillby leaned back, stretching himself out. 

**Gaster:** “And While You Are My Summon Now, The Grillby Out There Still Belongs To Your Doctor Gaster. Do You Know If He Would Still Be Driven By That Directive? Would He Seek Out His Summoner Across Time And Space?”


	2. Hurting and Healing

**UF!Grillby:** Grillby looked back at Gaster, “Yes….yes he would.” His words were slow as the gears turned in his head, his main body would go after Doctor Gaster no matter what, no matter where he would be.

**Gaster:** How long would it take him to restore the portal? He’d already said he was too important to that other world to be persecuted over the little stunt he’d pulled. “Or What Form He Takes…?” Gaster was worried for his grandchild.

**UF!Grillby:** “Of course. It’d be easier for him to tell where Doctor Gaster is, as he is the summon of Doctor Wingdings Gaster.” Grillby spoke carefully, “I know I would try as much as I could.”

**Gaster:** “Grillby,” His tone was one of caution and worry, “I Need To Know If There Is Any Chance Of Him Harming… Doctor Gaster If He Wasn’t In The Same Body.”

**UF!Grillby:** “It’s a possibility. It depends on if Doctor Gaster was in complete control.” Grillby rubbed his core softly, “Why?”

**Gaster:** Gaster turned his gaze away, his fractured soul filling with worry. “I Mentioned It Before, But Your Previous Summoner Transfused His Soul Into The Soul Of One Of My Grandchildren. I Worry For Their Safety.”

**UF!Grillby:** “Oh. I am sorry Master.” Grillby looked down, not knowing what all to say. He was new to being this one’s summon and didn’t know how this Summoner would react to certain phrases.

**Gaster:** Gaster shook his head. He didn’t mind being called Master if it made Grillby more comfortable. “There’s Nothing We Can Do. I Cannot Enter Their Dreams, Since They Never Met Me, And You Have No Influence On What Your Other Self Does.” Still, the distress pained him.

**UF!Grillby:** “Is there anything I can do to help you, sir?”

**Gaster:** “…” He looked back to Grillby, eye lights small. “…Let Me Hold You? Just For A Little While?”

**UF!Grillby:** Grillby nods and gets up and moved to Gaster, sitting beside him, “How do you want to do this?” He felt awkward, he wasn’t used to being held.

**Gaster:** He smiled with gratitude, and held his arms out. “Here, Just Sit In My Lap And I’ll Hold You From Behind.”

**UF!Grillby:** Grillby nodded, unsure of how this was going to feel. He leaned back into Gasters arms.

**Gaster:** Gaster wrapped his arms around Grillby, then nuzzled into the nape of his neck. He smelled almost exactly like Orange, with some slight differences in the musk.

**UF!Grillby:** Grillby sighed and closed his eyes, “How are you stuck here in their dreams? I don’t remember seeing your soul piece when I held their souls.”

**Gaster:** “Both Of My Son’s Souls Were Grown From Fragments Of Mine. Their Souls Themselves Are My Soul Fragments. Since My Sans Gave This Papyrus A Piece Of His Soul, And Held Some Of The Pieces Keeping His Soul Together, I Am Able To Exist Here Whenever I Please.”

**UF!Grillby:** “Where else can you exist? I’m sure you don’t wish to be here with me in this endless void.”

**Gaster:** “I Can Exist In The Actual Void, Along With Every Other Fallen Gaster, Or I Can Visit My Children When They Sleep. I Much Prefer Your Company Over The Other Gasters, Though. You Never Know What Kind You’ll Meet In The Void.”

**UF!Grillby:** “Wait. There’s an actual void?” Grillbys eyes widened and he looked up to see Gaster.

**Gaster:** Gaster moved his head to meet Grillby’s gaze, then smiled. “Of Course There’s A Real Void. This Space We’re In Is A Void, But It’s The Space In Papyrus’s Soul That Is Barren Because He Is Not Here To Fill It. The Void Between Worlds, Where Other Gasters Reside, Is Something Else Entirely.”

**UF!Grillby:** “It…sounds nice…” Many Gasters all in one place, perhaps Grillby could find at least one that enjoyed his company enough to never leave him. After all the one he was with was just watching him to make sure he listened wasn’t he?

**Gaster:** “It Can Be, If You Like The Quiet. We’re So Spread Out, It’s Nearly Impossible To Find Anyone Worth Talking To There.” Gaster nuzzled his head against Grillby’s neck lightly. “You Are So Much More Enjoyable To Be Around, Beautiful Flame.”

**UF!Grillby:** “Nearly…impossible?” his voice was quiet, his fire crackling softly as Gaster nuzzled him, then he barked out a bit of laughter, “Me? Enjoyable to be around, sir, you must be joking.”

**Gaster:** “I Wouldn’t Joke About This,” Gaster murmured. “Do You Think I Could Cuddle The Other Gasters If I Met One?” His tone was light.

**UF!Grillby:** Thinking back onto his own Gaster, Grillby shook his head in defeat, “No…I suppose you’re right sir.”

**Gaster:** “There You Go. I Won’t Be Lying To You Anytime Soon, Grillby.” He pressed a small kiss to the base of Grillby’s neck. “On Another Note, Do You Have A Favorite Name For Me? I Noticed You Using Master And Sir, But Which Makes You Happiest? What Do You Want Me To Be?”

**UF!Grillby:** “I’ve been changing them trying to figure out which you preferred. Please correct me if I’m saying things wrong.” Grillby responded, “Besides, it’s not something that should make me happy but rather you, my summoner.”

**Gaster:** Gaster had an idea. “Your Late Summoner Was A Poor Excuse For A Master. He Was Abusive And Neglectful, And You Did Not Deserve Such Poor Treatment. So,” Gaster looked up at his summon, then let one of his hands caress Grillby’s cheek, “Let Me Be Your Doctor, And I’ll Help Mend The Beautiful Flame My Counterpart Tried To Break.”

**UF!Grillby:** Grillby narrowed his eyes, suspicion creeping up on him as the Doctor’s sweet words flowed from his mouth, “Are you trying to flirt with me?”

**Gaster:** “Maybe,” Gaster teased, “But I Mean Every Word.”

**UF!Grillby:** “I find that hard to believe.” Grillby spoke the words coldly.

**Gaster:** Gaster’s tone grew more serious, if confused. “What Cause Would I Have To Lie To You?”

**UF!Grillby:** “Anything at all, really. You have no obligation to tell me the truth.”

**Gaster:** “And Cause You More Unnecessary Pain?” Gaster frowned, feeling almost hurt. “I Would Have Been Much More Violent Towards You If I Wished To Cause You Harm. Besides That, No Good Would Come From That Kind Of Behavior.”

**UF!Grillby:** “It would get me to behave the way you wished me to, sir.” Grillby pointed out.

**Gaster:** “As Your Summoner, I Could Command Anything From You, And You Would Have No Choice But To Obey. I Have Not Used That Power Since The Transfer,” Gaster reminded him.

**UF!Grillby:** Now the elemental knew he was lying. “You did use it. You even emphasized yourself with a bone to my neck.”, Grillby hissed softly.

**Gaster:** “I Said Since The Transfer. That Was At The Time Of The Transfer.” He wasn’t going to be so nit-picky that he’d point out the bone dagger had been pointed at his core though. “And That Was For Yours And Papyrus’s Safety.”

**UF!Grillby:** Grillby stayed silent, his figure tense in Gaster’s arms.

**Gaster:** Gaster fell silent as well. His expression softened into one of guilt. He’d hurt Grillby, he couldn’t protect his grandchild… He let go of Grillby, thinking the elemental wanted to leave based on how tense he was. He murmured a very soft, almost inaudible apology, though avoided Grillby’s gaze.

**UF!Grillby:** Grillby closed his eyes, letting himself fall against Gaster, “You have every right. I’m sorry, Master.”

**Gaster:** Gaster caught Grillby, mildly surprised the other trusted him enough to do that. He made a mental note to introduce trust building exercises later. “Why Are You Sorry? Your Only Experience With A Summoner Was A Deceitful, Manipulative One. Not To Mention The Violent Culture Of Your Universe. I Understand Your Caution.”

**UF!Grillby:** “Tch. I was still reluctant to listen, you should be reprimanding me, or punishing me or something. Not coddling me.”

**Gaster:** “Negative Reinforcement Hardly Improves A Learned Behavior. If Anything, It Only Causes More Damage. Positive Reinforcement Does So Much More Good.” Gaster smiled lightly and started to softly knead small circles into Grillby’s shoulders. “We Have All The Time In The World To Build Trust. We Don’t Have To Rush Things.”

**UF!Grillby:** Grillby startled at the sudden movements on his back but quickly relaxed.

**Gaster:** Gaster continued his ministrations. His voice was calm when he spoke. “I Am Proud Of How Open You Are Already, Grillby. If I Can Return The Sentiment In Any Way, Do Not Be Afraid To Ask.”

**UF!Grillby:** “….That doesn’t make sense. I HAVE to be open with you. You are my summoner. You shouldn’t be proud with common decency of a summon.”

**Gaster:** Gaster shook his head, keeping calm. “A Summon Doesn’t Have To Do Anything Unless Their Summoner Commands It. I Never Commanded You To Be So Open. That Was Your Choice.”

**UF!Grillby:** “No, but it is common courtesy. Is your worlds summon so rude?” Grillby asked.

**Gaster:** “They Are Allowed To Argue With Their Summoners. They Don’t Exactly Follow Them Blindly.”

**UF!Grillby:** This stunned Grillby into a silence. He was always expected to act decently as he was a ‘High-Class’ summon, but not being expected to follow blindly? Being able to argue with their summoners? Weren’t they punished if they did that?

**Gaster:** “Summons Are Treated More Like Children Than Puppets Under Normal Circumstances,” Gaster continued. “Elementals Generally Outlive Their Summoners Many Times Over, After All. It Is The Job Of The Summoner To Teach Their Summon To Be Independent, So They May Survive On Their Own When Their Summoner Eventually Has To Leave Them.”

**UF!Grillby:** “That’s……new.” Grillby’s voice was a whisper.

**Gaster:** Gaster was silent for a moment. He figured Grillby might appreciate it, so he could start understanding the implications of his world’s culture. “…Are You Ok, Beautiful Flame?”

**UF!Grillby:** “Depends on what you mean, Master.” Grillby sighed. He was never going to get used to the 'niceness’ of this Gaster.

**Gaster:** “Culture Shock Can Be Jarring At Times. I Only Want To Help Make It Easy For You.” Gaster smiled reassuringly.

**UF!Grillby:** Of course, “May I make a request, sir? A plea if you will.” Grillby’s voice had a begging tone about it. Grillby wanted to push his boundaries just like this Gaster was pushing his.

**Gaster:** Gaster nodded, not about to deny Grillby after offering his support. “Go Ahead, Grillby.”

**UF!Grillby:** “Hurt me.” Grillby stated, his head moved to look at Gaster.

**Gaster:** He stopped massaging Grillby’s shoulders, then blinked. Several thoughts ran through his head at once, but in the end, he simply nodded again. “…If You Want Me To.” He did give Grillby permission to request things from him. If he denied this first one, especially with how Grillby practically begged him, he’d never earn the elemental’s trust or respect. He carefully rose to his feet, then moved to stand in front of his summon. “Is There A Particular Way You Wish Me To Hurt You?”

**UF!Grillby:** Grillby stared at the other in shock. He’d half expected him to actually deny the request altogether. He tried to quickly get over the initial shock and shook his head.

**Gaster:** “I’ll Need A Reason, Then. I Won’t Just Hurt You Without A Reason.” If it would help Grillby, then he’d do it, but he would never strike the elemental without proper cause.

**UF!Grillby:** Grillby rolled his eyes, of course there were conditions, “I hurt your sons.”

**Gaster:** Gaster nodded once more, choosing to ignore that eye roll. “Then Consider This A Punishment For Your Past Behavior.” He balled up his fist, then swiftly delivered a punch to Grillby’s head.

Grillby: 1024/1026

**UF!Grillby:** Grillby felt his face move with the hand. It didn’t do much. Grillby clenched his hands, preparing for more.

**Gaster:** Gaster could tell from Grillby’s body language alone that it wasn’t enough. He quickly used his other fist to hit the other side of Grillby’s head. Then left, then right, then left, and back and forth between the two fists, punching Grillby in different places each time, but never getting too close to his core. Gaster kept a watchful eye on the other’s HP, ready to stop if it reached below half of its max.

Grillby: 1010/1026

**UF!Grillby:** Grillby Acted: “I raped your children, made them scream in pain and in pleasure for fun. Hurt me.” He watched Gaster for any sort of response, hoping to invoke anger.

**Gaster:** It sparked something. Something deep within his fractured soul. A desire to defend his children. Gaster’s rage started to slowly build, some small shimmers of purple magic flickering in his otherwise void eye sockets. He kept punching.

Grillby: 985/1026

**UF!Grillby:** Grillby Acted: “I tortured them, I hurt them. I could have dusted them.”

**Gaster:** The purple magic flared to life, illuminating Gaster’s empty sockets. He kicked Grillby to the floor, only to get on top of him and close his hands around the elemental’s throat.

Grillby: 723/1026

**UF!Grillby:** Grillby Acted: Grillby wheezed, smiling as his HP went down steadily.

**Gaster:** Gaster panted, somehow out of breath from the exertion. He glared into Grillby’s eyes with all the malice of a father. His hold was steady.

Grillby: 675/1026

**UF!Grillby:** Grillby didn’t move or struggle, he kept looking up at Gaster, even once his vision blurred.

**Gaster:** Through the rage, a small thought made its way to Gaster’s mind; if he killed Grillby, he’d kill Papyred. Slowly, the purple magic vanished from Gaster’s eye sockets, and after squeezing Grillby’s neck one more time to get the point across, he let go. Frowning, Gaster Checked Grillby.

**UF!Grillby:** Grillby: HP 100/1026 ATK: 45 DEF: 10  


**Confused and abandoned, Grillby is Lost.**

**Gaster:** Gaster sighed, letting the last of his rage go with it, then got off of the elemental. Feeling a little tired himself, he laid beside him. “…I Should Hope That Was Enough.”

**UF!Grillby:** Grillby tried to focus on Gaster, “More, sir? Please?” He reached a hand out, trying to grab at Gaster.

**Gaster:** “Any More And I’ll Risk Killing You.” Gaster took Grillby’s hand anyway. “If You Wish It, I’ll Return To This Punishment Once You’ve Recovered.”

**UF!Grillby:** Grillby nodded, leaning into the physical comfort, “Thank you, Master….”

**Gaster:** Gaster pulled Grillby close to his chest, then gently started rubbing his head. “Rest Now, Summon. You’ll Need Your Strength.”

**UF!Grillby:** Grillby nodded, his vision darkening the world around him.

**Gaster:** Gaster continued to hold him, even after Grillby fell unconscious. He had mixed feelings over this punishment, but Grillby felt he needed it, and maybe, based on his earlier rage, Gaster needed it too.

**UF!Grillby:** Grillby’s HP began to slowly climb, it climbed slightly faster with Gaster holding him.

**Gaster:** Noticing this, Gaster couldn’t help but smile. His calm strokes soon slowed to a stop, however, and Gaster found himself slip into a nice slumber as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY!!! NEXT BOOK IS ON ITS WAY PEOPLE!!!


End file.
